The month of January, to paraphrase T.S. Elliot, was the cruelest month. It was a time of doubt and soul searching. I woke up at the beginning of the year excited about a clean slate. But adversity struck and I began to doubt myself.
I doubted why I became a trainer. I doubted my previous life choices and mistakes. I doubted the road I was traveling. I hit the wall. But I found a way around it.
I learned that the reason I became a trainer was because I wanted to make an impact on some one's life in a positive way. I wanted to empower someone to change their life. I realized that my self-doubt would prevent me in helping someone else empower their lives. So I got my head on straight and realized the source of the problem.
I have spent years not doing what I want to do because I was afraid of failing. Yes, that's it. I want a lot from this life, but fear has gotten in my way of taking the ultimate leap of faith and trying what I want. I realized something pretty important- I have nothing to be afraid of. I have a husband who loves me, parents who are totally awesome, and friends and clients who would more than likely jump in front of a bus for me. So why am I afraid? Just because I don't know how to fail. Or more importantly handle it. But I realized that If I do fail, that burden of pain, regret is shared among all those people. I realized that the role I sought to fill for other people, I already have and they have, if they just look for it.
So everyone tells me, Kevin (you are so handsome), and you should cook for a living. I would pay to come to your restaurant. Well. I was afraid of failing at that. No more. So here is the new situation (O-Jersey Shore). I am starting to prepare my healthy recipes in prepackaged containers for my clients. I am making three square meals a day with low calories and high flavor. I am going to take on Jenny Craig -which I know I could take her in an arm-wrestling match. But I has always wanted to do this. And the time I have spent being afraid of failure is over. It is time, to bite the bullet and give it a shot.
So starting today, I will be chronicling the evolution of K-squared meals. (it's cuter if you with the superscript number 2). Here is step one. I hope you stay tuned for the rest. I will be still be sharing some fitness tips and recipes. But it is time to shit and get off the pot.